Making Friends Is Weird

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say, “I moved here X years ago and it’s so hard to make friends” I’d be rich. Ok maybe not rich with the way things are these days, but I’d have a lot more dollars. When we were kids, you'd lock eyes with someone on the swings at the park and suddenly you were friends. If kids your age lived on the same street, you quickly became bike buddies. If they had a video game system, instant bestie. Somewhere between then and now, making friends got weird.

I’m not kidding when I say 99% of my friends are from other cities. We’ve all moved here from somewhere else, sometimes multiple somewheres prior to here. Something that’s bonded all of us is the challenge of cultivating adult friendships. Alex Sujong Laughlin has a solid tip for meeting new people: Follow every cool business you find on social media. When I first moved to Portland, this is exactly what I did. I discovered so many new spots to eat, see comedy, dance, shop, and just explore the city. This was a great way to get out of the house, orient myself, and find some of my favorite neighborhoods. While I saw a lot of people out and about, I didn’t know how to really connect with them when I was already navigating so much new. I had no idea who was looking for a new friend or just sharing a kind smile. How was I supposed to assess if we shared the same values with only a brief chat in line at the food pod? So, I did what most of us do: I turned to the many digital platforms offering us friendships. Don’t get me wrong, I made some amazing friends, but these services keep pulling us back in, “promising to solve the problem” we used them for in the first place.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of on-screen friends. I want to meet in real life. I want to share deep stories over a meal while we laugh and lose track of time. I want to walk away feeling like I made a real connection versus only knowing where you’re from and what you do.

I was lucky enough to see acclaimed writer Elizabeth Gilbert speak once, and she mentioned that she loves to ask people, “what are you most excited about in your life right now?” It’s amazing to see the way someone lights up when you ask them this question. I guarantee you’ll uncover so much more about who they are and what matters to them instead of asking about their job. Cultivating this kind of conversation is exactly why I created Soul Rooted Table. The beautiful thing is that you can attend a dinner with friends or by yourself. Either way, expect to get to know people on a deeper level. What drives them? Inspires them? Scares them? I’ve found that when we really get to know people on a deeper level, we not only learn more about them, but ourselves. Who knows what that random stranger sitting across from you will inspire in you. I love seeing how many people walk away with new connections and spark up a new friendship.

Truthfully, I think it’s so hard for people to make friends as adults is that we feel like we don’t know what to talk about. We all seem to hate small talk and want more meaningful connection, but I recognize it can be pretty awkward to ask the person you just met at the dog park what about their life excites them. Dinner with Soul Rooted Table takes out the awkward, and here’s why:

1. Breaking bread with others is disarming. It taps into an instinctive sense of trust and vulnerability. You’re exposed when dining together — you have to lower your defenses to eat, making space for candid conversation.

2. Intentional, thought-provoking themes set the tone for not only the food and atmosphere, but the conversation. The theme is a shared frame of reference, giving people something to react to, riff off, and explore together.

The first Soul Rooted Table dinner - Burn & Bloom

So, if you’re looking to add to your circle of friends or just want more meaningful conversation, book a seat at an upcoming dinner.